Choice or Destiny

“Do you believe in fate?” ask Morpheus as he and Neo sit in a room in the Matrix
“ No” reply Neo firm.
“Why not?” asked Morpheus again
“Coz I don’t like the idea of I’m not in control of my life” explain Neo.

Fast forward…

“Why did you do those things you do? Is it for power? Is it for Love?” asked Agent Smith during his final battle with Neo.
“Because I choose to!” answered Neo.

Destiny as defined by www.dictionary.com is the inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot or; A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control. Whereas choice, the act of choosing; selection or; the power, right, or liberty to choose; option or; an alternative.

This question actually dawn upon me when one of my friend bring the subject about a girl/guy which are meant for us or in another word “Does the destined bride/groom actually exist? Or it just us who choose to spend the rest of our life with her/ him. (From now on I’ll only refer to her or destined bride since I’m a man)

Then I find two verses from Holy Quran, Chapter 13 Verse 11 and Chapter 8 Verse 53, the translation,
(13:11) For him are angels ranged before him and behind him who guard him by Allah's command. Lo! Allah changeth not the condition of a folk until they (first) change that which is in their hearts; and if Allah willeth misfortune for a folk there is none that can repel it, nor have they a defender beside Him.

(8:53) "Because Allah will never change the grace which He hath bestowed on a people until they change what is in their (own) souls: and verily Allah is He Who heareth and knoweth (all things)."

Suddenly it hit me like a thunder; Fate can be change by choice whether it is from good to bad or from bad to good or from good to better or from bad to worse. To change your fate, first you must change what is in your heart. It is us who choose which direction or path to follow. Islam not encourage its follower to remain idle in a condition and just leave the rest to fate but always pursue what you think you could do to improve your self, Islamic society and your own community, only then you could turn good into better.

Destined Bride
“Prophet Muhammad S.A.W said as Narrated Abu Huraira; The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, her wealth her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.” From what I understand from this hadith, man ought to choose his bride. The best quality of all women is the religious women.

Then if I actually choose my bride, how come anyone say it is my destiny to be with her. Yeah people would argue, why am I choosing her instead of any other girl? It is my destiny that I choose her and it is my destiny too that she’s agreeing to marry me. Yet again if I think a little bit deeper, before I choose her to be my bride or in another word, before the decision is made, there is a lot of factors involved including seeking Allah guidance by doing a lot of Istikharah and opinion of the elders. Same goes on her side before she chooses me as her groom. The decision, for me, is not for fate to make. It is fully my decision, and because Allah All-Knowing, He already know about the final decision before I make the decision.

Quote often heard in a Malaysian Malay Community, “Alaa…Bercinta bagai nak rak, kalau tak de jodoh tak kahwin jugak” or “Kalau dah jodoh tak ke mana!” These two quotes refer how Malay prefers to let destiny to take its course. The first one tells about without fate on their side, do what they will, in the end it won’t happen, and the second one about if fate not in their nothing can come in between. I sincerely not believe this, and I would like to challenge anybody to prove this theory! Attached strictly to this fate with no choice involve!

Life after Marriage

As Malay peoples are always concern about how long will the marriage last? Since Malay people considered marriage is a sacred bond between two people and their family. But if a divorce occurs regardless sooner or later in a marriage Malay people tend to believe that the marriage are meant to be separated as if it’s the couples destiny to experience diversion thus come the saying “Apa nak buat jodoh mereka tak panjang” and yet again the Destiny takes the blames

On the other hand it is the couple decision to end their marriage. In another word it is the couple themselves choose to end their marriage. If not, I believe comes what may, the marriage bond shall not be untied till the end of their life. In order to choose to divorce, a careful consideration always comes before hand. Once consensus has been reached beyond any reasonable doubt, then will the couple end their marriage for good while they can actually choose to search a common point to make their marriage last.

Consequences of choice or Destiny
As Newton teaches us in his Third Principle “Every Action has its reaction.” In term of choices I view it as “Every choice has its consequences”. Then I ask myself whether consequences of choice can be called fate or destiny? According to dictionary, no! They can’t because consequence is defined as something that logically or naturally follows from an action or condition, or; the relation of a result to its cause, or; a logical conclusion or inference. For an example, in the divorce case above, the choices are: to divorce or not to divorce. The consequences what is logically going to happen: their marriage last they could live happily ever after as they will understand their partner better in future, or their marriage doomed, their children suffer emotion breakdown and they will never understand their partner. Since I believe nothing in this world is illogic and as everything that happened has its reason, then to me whatever comes next is just a mere of consequences of choice.

Destiny!!
Since destiny is something that I can’t control, in my humble opinion it falls into two categories; first before and after life and second, other people’s choice. One is ultimate destiny and the other can be control indirectly. For example, it is my destiny to be born to Mat Jizat’s family in Malaysia as well as it’s my destiny to die on certain time at a certain place in future. Meanwhile as I can’t control other people choice, but I can always persuade people to make the choice of my desire. This weakness in mankind is what the devil uses to get his followers since mankind ever step on to the earth surface. Allah being the Most Merciful and All Knowing know this weakness in Mankind and always open for repent as long as the sun still rising from east….